Happy One Week Claire!

I don't really have much to update on today. Like our NP said this morning, Claire is kinda on autopilot now.  She came off the phototherapy this morning and her bilirubin level was already significantly better. Pretty sure we are completely done with it now.

I have started getting slightly discouraged because when the nurses will feed her a bottle she will take significantly more than when I do it. I know that this is their job and they are professionals at getting babies to do what they need to do but it still sucks that she won't do it for me.  Pretty sure my insurance won't cover one of the nurses coming home with us, though that would be awesome.

I took the plunge today and left her alone for lunch. Dylan is now officially moving home and I knew the week would be hard solo so decided to take a little break. We ate at Marie Calendars, which we had never been to before, and let me tell you it was delicious! Definitely recommend it. Then we stopped at Target to get some books and some little presents for Dylan to give the kids this week from me. It was a long 2 hours but glad that I got the first one out of the way.

It is so hard because how do you choose between your kids. Am I bad mom because I am choosing Claire? I just don't know the answer right now. I so badly want to be with Carly and Clay but can't even think about leaving Claire here.  I know she doesn't understand and probably doesn't even care who gives her the bottles but I care and I don't want to miss this time with her.  Miss holding and bonding with her. I could go home at night but the thought of something happening to her and me being 20 minutes away makes me sick.  I know everything happens for a reason and I am just thankful that the only problem is that she is too young to eat and not something more serious. So here is to one week down and hopefully only 3-4 more to go!

Happy One Week Birthday Claire!!