Our heart

The last few years Dylan and I have been pulled toward foster care. Its been this nagging thought in the back of both of our heads. It doesn't go away.  We always said that we would explore it one day when the kids were older. Then each year during adoption month the pull would just get stronger. We always make excuses.

The kids are too young.
What if it effects them in a bad way?
We already have too many kids.
Our house isn't big enough.

I mean we could make excuses for anything. Then a few months ago I was driving and praying about if fostering was the right decision for us and as I was praying this song came on the radio. I didn't pay too much attention to it but one verse stuck out. "God put a million doors in this world for His love to walk through, one of those doors is you."  I remember thinking, "If that is not a clear message I don't know what is." Then through a series of events, that is an entire blog post of its own, we finally made the decision to put all our fears and our excuses a side and to trust that if God put it on our heart that He will see us through it. I mailed our foster/adopt (yep adopt!) paperwork yesterday and we should hopefully get to start classes in January! Still is going to be a long journey and probably won't be licensed for about a year.

To say I am a little scared is an understatement. I think about it nonstop through out the day. I look at things so different now than I did before. I always had the attitude that someone else would do it. Even though the Bible tells us to take care of widows and orphans, that part of scripture did not apply to me. Now I realize that as a follower of Christ, I don't get to pick what does and doesn't apply to me. I don't get to decide what to do based on what makes me comfortable. Being a follower of Christ should be uncomfortable.  If we are comfortable then we might not be living out our life the way we should.

I want to leave a legacy for my kids. What are they going to remember about their childhoods. What we say is important but the life that we live and the example we set for them is way more important. We were so scared about them not getting a great childhood if we started this journey. We now see that their childhood is what we make it. It isn't going to look like the childhood we had, but hopefully it will be just as amazing.

Honestly, we don't know what God has in store for us. We don't know what kids He is going to bring through our door. I will be praying daily that we can be a light for these kids. I will be praying daily for strength for our family and that this process and journey will bring us together as a family and will bring us closer to Him.

I know it won't be easy.
 I know I will cry a lot.
 I know we might get attached to kids.
I know that there will be some kids that we dislike.
 I know that their will be days that we want to quit...... But, honestly... its not about us, right.
What I KNOW the most though, is that it will be worth it.

So the real reason for this post is to ask for prayers. When you think of it, just say a quick one of us. We want to do this right. We want to make a difference. We just want to love up on whatever kids He blesses us with. So just pray for us and for the kids we will one day have. Just pray :)