That moment when it just clicks.....

Carly is on her way to being potty trained!!!!!

My last post of 2010 I shared my goals for the year. Potty training my 2 year old was one of them. Just like every other mom in the world you anxiously anticipate the day you no longer have to change your kids diapers and I was really looking forward to it. I had just had Clay and had decided to not pursue training her until after he was born so that I didn't have to deal with regression, which is very common.  Instead 2011 brought a lot of resistance, tears (by me), insecurities (again by me) and a lot of other emotions and no potty use.  I thought I would finally share our struggle and the lesson it taught me about being a mom.

You start seeing all your friends kids using the potty and being successful or at least their kids were attempting to use it. They might not be completely trained but they had a least sat and peed on the toilet. I had friends with kids who were not even 2 who were showing interest and using it periodically. I very much know that all kids are different and do things at different rates. Being a triage nurse I talked to mom's all day about potty and sleep training etc. Instead of taking my own advice I resorted to feeling bad.  I started thinking that it was somehow my fault that she wouldn't use it or had absolutely no interest. 

A couple months after Clay was born I decided to jump in head first and was just going to "make" my stubborn child do it. A lot of crying (by us both), complete refusal on her part and 18 hours of NO pee later, I gave in and put her back in a diaper. When she started not sleeping, constantly squirming and having the most awful smelling pee I realized that she now had a UTI. I took her to the doctor and got to hold her down while she got cathed in order to get a culture to make sure she truely did have one.  After talking to the doctor we decided that potty training was not in our near future.

I had so much guilt and it only fueled my feeling of being a bad mom. Instead of stepping back and seeing that Carly just wasn't ready and it had nothing to do with me I just focused on the fact that I heard "friends" not realizing that Carly hadn't even started the process, talk about how it was the parents being lazy.  Everytime I turned around comments were being made about her potty training. Family and friends had opinion, the ones that were the most annoying were the ones that didn't have kids and therefore shouldn't have had an opinion, or who would say, "well it looks to me, like she is ready".

 I remember not too long ago a good friend of mine had infertility problems and talked about how it was hard when people would ask her when she was going to have kids because she wanted them really bad but was having a hard time.  I was one of those friends, I remember asking her at least a couple of times. This process for me made me realize that people have struggles and insecurities that we don't even know about and sometimes it is better to keep your questions and comments to yourself.

I took Carly to her 3 year well check with a new doctor who told me that she was "playing" me and that I needed to just put her in underware and be done with it. This is right after we had just attempted and she had gotten the UTI. I asked her if I really should since we just had a problem and she told me yes, and that if she gets another one, she gets another one. I left the office confused and really upset. I knew that I couldn't go through that again.  So instead I waited and I waited and 3 months later, here we are.

I talked to Dylan about it and told him I was going to jump in again head first but was going to do whatever I had to do to make it work. I talked to Carly about it for a couple days before we started. We had a game plan and we had our treasures picked out for when she finally went.

So....... I made her sit......and sit........and sit until she peed. When she went, I cried and screamed and Carly probably thought I was a crazy person. We immedietely called her Daddy and then got our shoes on and went to HEB and bought a new toy. Today she is doing it all on her own. She tells me when she needs to go and is making us so proud.  I am excited about getting to pinch her little booty with no diaper!

Needless to say it was a long road but well worth it. Looking back I am so glad that we gave it time and let her do it when she was ready. I am glad that even though I doubted myself daily, I went with my mom instinct and didn't let people influence me too much. This process also taught me a lot about myself and the kind of mom I want to be. 

Next goal: Completely dressing herself!!!!! :)